Irene

A few weeks ago I was sobbing on a friend’s couch over the difficulties I was having in my relationship.  Fifteen years of stressful circumstances, the consequences of too many bad choices and stupid comments, and the disappointment of hopes had led to the feeling that I was going to have to break up with my love… oh, and the girl upon whom I had placed the burden of being the recipient of my love. 

This is no ordinary love… I mean I LOVE her.  My feelings for her come from as near a place as that heart space as I can possibly imagine.  I am helpless in the face of it.  I feel this way about my horses, the land, a sunset on the ocean, beautiful music, a well written sentences, good chocolate and breathing after holding my breath for too long.

Honestly, stopping loving her just can’t be done.

The problem is that she doesn’t necessarily feel this way about me anymore.  She Loves Me which is better than loving me but this isn’t anywhere near LOVING ME.  Can you say “ouch” my friends?  Been there?

My friend sat patiently as I snottily emoted and eloquently expressed my despair.  Then in her usual quiet and unobtrusive way she cut right to the core of it and said,

“I hear a lot of ‘we’ and ‘her’ when you talk.  I think you need to spend more time in the ‘I’”

I am always amazed at how a well placed cauterizing statement can dry up a really good cry.   

She was right… I was all about her and us.

Flash forward one week to the day of the worst hurricane to hit the East Coast in over a century.  Houses are floating down small roads in the Catskills, over 5 million people are without power, 15 die in Connecticut, small towns in Vermont are left stranded and hundreds of thousands of people are left with destroyed property, no flood insurance and Winter only 3 months away.

And what about Renee?

The odd thing is that the eye of the storm slipped gently over my land.  There was a lot of rain (the storm filled one of our water tanks that holds 40 gallons) and a few hours of wind, but for the most part I spent the day in a world so still that I could hear the chickens clucking down at the farm, a quarter of a mile away. 

I, Renee indeed!

And by the way, thanks go out to super coach Jill Koch for putting me back into my “I”

Why?

Most likely you don’t have a lot of money and can’t really see how a coach would be worth the money.  I completely understand.  I don’t have much money either.  But, what I do have is a coach.  Why?

Because swimming in my own misery wasn’t making me any richer. I’m poor but really, really loving my life.  And because I love my life, I KNOW that I will do what I want to do even if I never make a dime or become a success story.  I own my life.

I couldn’t do that without my coach.  

Maybe you aren’t miserable.  Maybe you are frustrated or overwhelmed or confused.  Maybe you are actually really happy today and life looks pretty great.  The thing is, that a coach isn’t like your brain or your moods.  A coach helps you keep on track even when you don’t feel like it or when you think it is all pointless effort.  A coach knows that you can do it even when you don’t.

The problem is that life is a subjective experience.  It is what we remember it to be and it becomes whatever we think or feel it can be in the moment.  Your spouse ALWAYS does that. You ALWAYS fall on your face just when things are going right. You are NEVER going to get a job.  

Working with me will enable you to keep an objective view of life and its ups and downs. I will make sure that you learn the skills, develop the habits and embrace a perspective that will enable you to OWN your life- no matter what is happening or how your plans turn out.

I can help you get control, manage your wealth, maintain good health and be in power. 

In other words, the money you invest into coaching will give you what you need to make more of your life.  You can be the person you already are: an awesome genius.

Give me a try.  At the very least you will have spent a half hour listening to yourself talk about your dreams.  Let’s make them actualities!

How Coaching Works

Coaching is really like talking with your best friend.  Only this best friend is the kind of person who absolutely believes that you are capable of being anything you want to be or doing anything you want to do.   

Sometimes I will be like a twelve step sponsor:  I will be there for you when you are feeling like you are heading down the wrong street and just need someone to snap you out of it or give you a sense of perspective.

Often I will be like Socrates who would never answer a question without asking another question.   This can be irritating, but trust me when I say that I only ask the question because I am confident that you already know the answers.

When necessary, I can put on a drill sergeant’s hat or a sport coach’s whistle and tell you turn of the TV and get moving!

I am different from many coaches and most therapists in that I am willing to let you be a part of my life and give you an opportunity to challenge me.  I believe that clients have as much to offer as I do and I am always amazed at the profound effect my clients have had on my life. 

I like to have my clients commit to at least three sessions at a time.  This ensures that you are given the best chance to make some changes in your life as soon as possible.  I have found that most clients have met some of their goals by the sixth session and are starting to self-coach.  Once we have reached that stage in our relationship, we will begin to build a future from a foundation of success and reward.  Life will just keep getting better!

Many of my previous coaches and clients are now good friends.  We continue to support and motivate each other throughout the continual ups and downs of life.

Open the door to a great future!  Learn to listen to your heart- not your critics.   Get a coach!

Not just for horse people

Horse people are great people, but they aren't the only ones I coach.  I also work with artists, jocks, farmers, business folks, unemployed, old, young, dogs, cats, cows etc.   About the only thing I won't come near is onions.  I really don't like onions.  Or peppers.  Okay, and dead fish. I like living fish of all sorts but I won't eat them whether they are alive or dead. 

If you have a life and want to talk about it or want some support in making it better- give me a buzz and let's play!

Founding Mothers

CORE Equestrian and Life Coaching developed out of my belief that the horse industry needs to return to a more feminine perspective. I was at an Equine Affair when one of the experts there actually said "women weren't raised the same way as men and so they need to learn to act like men in order to be good horsemen".  It was said by woman.  I was horrified!  I can't imagine anything more damaging to hear than the claim that the way women live, love and relate made them inferior in any way.   I decided then and there to work at healing the girl in all of us.  Love is egalitarian and irresistible not hierarchical and separating.  I hope to help horsewomen and horsemen realize that partnership means working together, listening to each other and giving all beings the right to be the way they are.

Welcome to CORE

Welcome to my blog!

Have you ever wondered if your love for horses (or art, or fast cars, or tulips) was just an expensive hobby or a reason to live?

Have you struggled with the strain your passion takes on your time, money, energy and it's effects on your family?

Are you feeling fear, anxiety, guilt, doubt or like maybe you are a little crazy for thinking your horse might actually be talking to you?

Do you believe that your horse doesn't really love you and that you need to be an alpha in order to get its respect?

Have you ever wanted your horse to love you more than anyone else in its life?

CORE Equestrian and Life Coaching can help you with these issues so that you can feel freer, enjoy your passions more and really connect with that 1000 pound animal that takes such good care of you.

I will help you learn to listen to your horse instead of whispering to it.  Because to a horse, whispering is still talking and as long as you are talking- you aren't listening!

Nobody knows your horse better than you- except your horse.

Let me help you feel how much your horse loves you and wants to perform for you.  Come learn how to work through love and equality, because love is irresistible and you don't need to act like a man to be a good horseperson.

Please email me for a free trial session and let's get to living your dream!