Love and Hate

What is the opposite of love?  Most would say “hate”, but I wonder if it isn’t “indifference”.  If someone hates you, at least you know that they are aware of and affected by your presence in their life.  You are not invisible or inconsequential.  In fact, hate is often caused by an absence of love which can lead a person to believe they don’t matter.  If you can’t get your partner to hug you, maybe you can be so irritating as to get them to hate you.  

How often have you tried this approach?  It certainly works well for kids, pets and horses.  They know that a slap is better than nothing at all.

But to be indifferent about another person means that you might just as well pass by a brick as take notice of another being in your space.  It is terrible to be on the other side of indifference no matter your species.

I have heard a lot of Buddhists and New Agers talk about striving to be “neutral”, “non-reactive” or “indifferent”.  They are “allowing” things to be what they are. This is a nicer place than negative reactivity but I wonder if this mindset could be also considered “numb” or “uncommitted”. 

Personally I think expressing one’s feelings or opinions is the greatest gift you can give another.  I sometimes wonder if having the guts to say “I love you” or on those awful occasions, “I hate you”,  is one of the bravest things a person can do. It means they care enough about themselves, and you, to bare their heart, soul and personality to consequences beyond their control:  your reaction.

Let me put it bluntly and to the point.  If you are making love to someone, what makes it fun?   How do you know when what you're doing is working? 

Emotion is energy in motion. 

Neutrality is nothing doing nothing about anything.

It is okay to emote.  It is the only way others can be aware of your presence and where you stand. 

Give it a try today- look for an opportunity to emote and to honor those who have the courage to stand fully in the face of their feelings and to share them with you.  Think about all the times you wished you had said something instead of standing quietly by, neutral and indifferent to your horse’s fear, your partner’s passion for you, or a stranger’s grief. 

If a smile can change the world… why do we hide our feelings from those we love and who love us?