I recently had some weird heart issues- of the physiological kind. I have a right bundle blockage which means that the left and right ventricles are not in sync. Combine it with a wicked chest cold and you get heart palpitations and shortness of breath of a scary sort.
My relationship, my writing career, my income, my farm, my exercise program, my horses' training- nothing's lining up with where I think I ought to be.
It makes me wonder which came first. My life being out of alignment or my heart beating whacky?
When I had my first heart palpitation this last week, it made me so weak I couldn't stand for long and it caused me to be out of breath for fifteen minutes. All I could do was think "oh please beat, don't stop, just keep beating." It didn't hurt, but it was very, very real.
In that fifteen minutes I realized all I ever needed to know about faith. Faith is the space between heartbeats. We all assume the next beat will come and so we run through life chasing our beliefs with confidence in the eternal nature of our heart. It rarely lets us down!
When we get afraid, our hearts beat hard, almost as if it were cheering us on from the sidelines. "I'm still here!!" The beating of our hearts lets us know when we are in love and comforts us when we are sad. It is something you feel in the night when you hold your lover tight. It's all about the beat, man!
But when my heart seemed to stop, I realized that the beat is merely the reward for surviving the dark before the dawn. It's the prize for not quitting before the miracle. The real moment of truth, the absolute test of faith, lies in the space between beats. Take some time and feel when you heart isn't beating.
Quiet in there isn't it?
It's when there is no hope that faith carries us to the glory.
Times are tough. It looks bad, really bad. But here's my challenge:
What if this is just the space between heartbeats?
Focus on your faith, whatever form that takes. See your dreams like a thread that you are trying to poke through the eye of a tiny needle, in the dark, on a bumpy road, with screaming kids. Ignore it, focus on the thread and the eye of the needle.
Have faith, the miracle is waiting on the other side.
My relationship, my writing career, my income, my farm, my exercise program, my horses' training- nothing's lining up with where I think I ought to be.
It makes me wonder which came first. My life being out of alignment or my heart beating whacky?
When I had my first heart palpitation this last week, it made me so weak I couldn't stand for long and it caused me to be out of breath for fifteen minutes. All I could do was think "oh please beat, don't stop, just keep beating." It didn't hurt, but it was very, very real.
In that fifteen minutes I realized all I ever needed to know about faith. Faith is the space between heartbeats. We all assume the next beat will come and so we run through life chasing our beliefs with confidence in the eternal nature of our heart. It rarely lets us down!
When we get afraid, our hearts beat hard, almost as if it were cheering us on from the sidelines. "I'm still here!!" The beating of our hearts lets us know when we are in love and comforts us when we are sad. It is something you feel in the night when you hold your lover tight. It's all about the beat, man!
But when my heart seemed to stop, I realized that the beat is merely the reward for surviving the dark before the dawn. It's the prize for not quitting before the miracle. The real moment of truth, the absolute test of faith, lies in the space between beats. Take some time and feel when you heart isn't beating.
Quiet in there isn't it?
It's when there is no hope that faith carries us to the glory.
Times are tough. It looks bad, really bad. But here's my challenge:
What if this is just the space between heartbeats?
Focus on your faith, whatever form that takes. See your dreams like a thread that you are trying to poke through the eye of a tiny needle, in the dark, on a bumpy road, with screaming kids. Ignore it, focus on the thread and the eye of the needle.
Have faith, the miracle is waiting on the other side.
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